Be Still, Mama, Be Still . . .
The winter months are now gone.
Maybe you watched Marie Kondo and simplified and organized everything. Maybe just the thought of it exhausted you. Or maybe, you’re like me, and did your own version here and there and your New Year’s resolution has been modified a teeny tiny bit.
Motherhood brings so many different seasons. Often, those seasons aren’t correlated with Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall and they most definitely do not always align with the seasons of the people who surround you.
This time last year, I had a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. I remember hearing Papa Smurf on the television mentioning in a sigh that he had no idea what he was doing. If ever I could relate to someone on T.V., that was THE moment.
Christmas had come and gone, preschool had started again, and I had in my mind that my days would be organized in a perfect order with a certain time for X, Y, and Z. Boy was I wrong!
My mornings were often filled with overwhelm and not knowing what to focus on. I’m a person who likes to be able to check a box and feel like I’ve accomplished something tangible in a day. There were so many boxes left unchecked. My husband would respond to my frustration with “Is everyone alive?” and sincerely offer encouragement. I’d have a little cry and move on.
But, deep down, it wasn’t enough for me to just keep my head above water.
One morning while all was quiet, one at preschool and another napping, I was hurriedly cleaning the kitchen and listening to a podcast for some company older than two years.
Thankfully my duties didn’t have me too distracted and I heard exactly what I needed as if September McCarthy, the God Centered Mom’s guest speaker, was speaking directly to me. I can’t remember the exact words, but it was essentially something along the lines of letting things go during certain seasons.
For me, it was a season I then described as a beautiful, but chaotic circus. The wheels started turning, but I was still stubborn. That message wasn’t for me! I had things to do!
The next podcast, which I now can’t find for the life of me, went on to mention Psalm 46:10 and encouraged moms to simply “be still” in the moments. I immediately teared up, which led to an awfully ugly cry. You know the type that will keep you out of the public for at least an hour?
Yeah, it was bad.
Why did I need someone who didn’t even know me to tell me that it was okay if all the “things” didn’t get done? Why did it take TWO total strangers? Because I needed more than family to tell me it was okay. Because I wanted to say I accomplished something during the day.
Because I’m a box checker and often let society define success for me.
Why do I share this with you?
Because it changed me, and it taught me that to BE STILL wasn’t the same thing as being lazy! I didn’t have to stand out, be the perfect Pinterest mom, or have a Martha Stewart worthy kitchen. My kids need the best version of ME, and sometimes, that involves sitting down for a while.
There are many days that I still need a reminder. I try to slow down and be even more mindful to sit in the floor and play. I let the laundry wait a little too long.
I absolutely delight in the smiles on my babies’ faces! I’m 100% positive that if someone I didn’t even know hadn’t told me to simply let things go, be still, and that “busy” doesn’t equal success, I would have missed many a smile.
Hearing that podcast gave me permission to let caring for my kids be enough. It reminded me that truly caring for your kids involves being very, very present in their lives.
Over the last year I’ve accepted the fact that our home won’t be a showcase of perfection, but more importantly, I’ve learned to see it as a place with life, laughter, experiences, and love.
The best part? I’m a better mama because of it!
The toys, the messes, the plates from breakfast that are still there hours later…it’s okay now. Well, if I’m being honest, it still bugs me to no end, but I’ve come a LONNNNG way.
I know that the tiny little dings in our coffee table came from a little fella loving a new hammer and a mama who didn’t see it coming. A year ago, I would see those as imperfections and a table that is messed up. Thankfully, so thankfully, my perspective has changed.
Now, if you read this and think “Boy doesn’t she think she has it all together,” that couldn’t be further from the truth. I snap at times I shouldn’t. I was the mama with the kid having a public meltdown over not getting a new toy TWICE in the last month. My kids know Mickey and Minnie much better than I’d like. My daughter is one of the pickiest eaters on the planet. I question myself ALL. THE. TIME.
But I have a suspicion that I’m not the only mama that could benefit from slowing down and letting a few things go. “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” Well said, John Trainer, well said.
The Lord does take care of us when we are trusting enough to do what he calls us to do.
And, mama, if it’s your season to focus on taking care of your baby, you do it and don’t look back. Sit down, hug, play, chase, dance, tickle and giggle.
And equally important, love yourself. Take care of yourself. You’ve got one heck of an amazing job to do.
Let YOUR heart define the check boxes, not society.
If you long to be more present with your child, but lack of sleep is taking its toll on you, let’s talk. There’s no shame in getting help for your child. Sleep is important for everyone and it certainly helps us enjoy the greatest moments and have more patience in the more trying ones.